Critiquing assistance?

I've been really sick the past few days, and I missed the group critiques for assignment two. I'm posting some of my draft here; would a few of you critique it for me?  I'd appreciate it. 

" Since I was about eight or nine years old, I knew that I wanted to be a forensic scientist. Although at the time I wasn’t too familiar with that title; so I called them the “Law and Order people”, but I knew what I meant. All throughout middle school my focus shifted to and from all kinds of different careers, for silly reasons. By the end of the movie Go Figure I was certain that I would become a figure skater, but after some serious child-pondering, I found myself wanting to be a forensic scientist again. For a while, in seventh grade, I told people I wanted to be an interior designer so nobody would make fun of me for being a dork. My best friend wanted to be an interior designer, which is where I got the idea, but in truth; I found it to be the most uninteresting job that I'd ever  of. Though  I did so in secret, I still planned to  be a foensic scientist.

When I was in eleventh grade my chemistry teacher, Mr. Nicotri, tout a forensic science class for credit recovery. The class was part of a program in our school, called City Kids, that I  wasn't in. I don't remember how I found out about the class but I  remember going immediately to the woman every student  called, "the City Kids lady". I asked, and she made it pretty clear she had no intentions of letting me in the class. Not only was I not wasn't I in the program, but I didn't have any missing credits to
recover, which was the point of the class. Even still, I  kept asking for the class. She always said no and I  always kept asking. She even tried to change my mind by telling me it was an after school and Saturday class, but still I asked for it. Eventuality she told me she would put me in the class simply because I was the only person that had ever begged her for a Saturday class.

For the next six weeks I was the happiest kid ever. Even while trudging from mid-yonkers to Wall Street every Saturday morning.  I knew for sure then that I'd love a career as a forensic scientist, but that didn't stop m my mind from wondering.

Toward the end of senior year in high school I fell in love with writing. I  thought of becoming a writer for all of a few hours before I  realized that it was not for me.  The emotional state I needed to be in to produce a praise worthy piece of writing , wasn't one I wanted to  be in all the time. Thus, I decided my writing would be only a hobby, and yet again my attention had returned to  forensic science. "

Thanks  for reafing guys :)

Class

The previous class, really helped me with assignment #2. In the beginning I was struggling as to where to go with the assignment, how to create a introduction. However, the timeline really helped me with understanding where I should go with this essay. Now, I have a better grasp as too where to go and how to do it. 

Monday Someone Mention Crusades 2/23/2015

For those of you who do not know what that is; The Crusades where a series of holy wars, to gain control over the Holy Land.

Interview

I like how we starred creating possible questions for the interview. I've never done an interview so i don't really know how to organize my self. i starred watching videos on the internet and i think it helped a bit. I'm a lil bit scared and exited at the time about the interview. part of that is because I'm already comfortable with my psychology teacher but also he know what type of student i am and he knows what to expect. Good luck to all on that. Feel free to talk about your interview planing process maybe it could help me. HELP! lmao

For anyone struggling..

I was struggling with assignment #2 at first, and a few other people said they were too. If anyone else is still struggling with it I think this might help..

The timeline we had to write today in class helps a lot. It's literally a personalized list of exactly what needs to be in our paper. Actually writing out the timeline also helps you see exactly where your research and your interview becomes relevant. This is what I did:

Write an initial timeline. Then, for each event you wrote on your timeline, write one or two sentences about what you're referring to and how it's relevant to the assignment. Let that be your outline.

Then develop your sentences into paragraphs and string them all together. This would be your draft. Then after group critiques and proofreading, you can develop your final.

This is what I'm doing and it makes the assignment seem easier to me.

Hope it helps guys.

Myth or Legacy?

In class we briefly spoke about what it means to be a geek god. Someone mentioned, the gods were "flawed like us". Hearing that made me think a little more about Greek mythology in itself.

In my opinion, Greek "mythology" has one of the most realistic views of what a god, or gods, might be. Every religion or faith has its own unrealistic components, including Atheism. For me, Greek mythology is a bit more understandable than some religions. This is not to say that everything the Greeks believed in was completely accurate, but just to agree with their view of the gods themselves. Imperfect men and women, as a reflection of their own imperfect Gods and Goddesses. This is the only belief system that, to my knowledge, does not include at least some miner form of sexism. I appreciate that women of their faith are powerful figures. 

Although the literal meaning of myth is not false or untrue, most people dismiss them as such. Like that of a unicorn or Pegasus, as a people, we don't consider these things to be real. I feel as though labeling the entire belief system a myth is a bit demeaning because of that fact. There are many polytheistic religions in the world, even still. Even so, Greek gods and goddesses seem to be the only ones that have been unanimously written off as fictional. Why have Greek beliefs been labeled mythological and not Christian or Catholic faiths? Perhaps it is because no major population still fallows these beliefs, but why should we if we've been tout it is a myth. Even so, when a creature goes extinct it is not thereon deemed a myth. No person needs to be asked if  they believe in dinosaurs. So why treat a peoples' belief any different than the people themselves? What do you think will happen to happen to our memory when we are extinct? Will we leave behind a myth or a legacy?

The Writers and the Scientists

There is a very interesting moment in the memoir that captures Miller's world view. Look at pp. 90-91 again, the scene where Miller and his friend Lawrence Durrell go to an observatory in Athens. The view of the heavens means something entirely different to the authors than it does to the scientists, doesn't it? What do you make of Miller as a person when he says, "Speaking for myself, facts and figures have always left me unimpressed." Is this a person who is unimpressed or uninterested in the world? Remember: this is the guy who is so effusive over the Greeks invention of the alphabet (p. 107). If he's not interested in "facts and figures," what is he interested in? I think this raises interesting questions about why the book is the way it is. How would this book be different if it were written by a travel guide? An historian? A scientist? What is Miller and why is his viewpoint different? What are your own attitudes toward "facts and figures"?

Question # 4

Is it obligated to use research from the internet in our essay? Or is it ok to only use the interview on our essay? Confused :/

Class in The Library

That class was very helpful. Because she help me understand how easy it is to find information on the internet. Usually before I find really good information; I have really look; it would take hours but now with her help I can do it in just a little time.

Question about the group crits on 2/25

So the first draft of the second assignment is due on Wednesday for the group critique, I was wondering if we still need to bring four copies of the draft like we did last time?

Struggling.

I'm not exactly sure where to start with assignment. I'm not sure how you want us to go about combining career field research and our personal experience about QCC. What would be the thesis in this assignment? What are we writing? I'm aware that we have to write about how we ended up at QCC and our major, but how does the in depth research of our field fit into the assignment?

class in the library

After having the class in the library, I learned that there are actually a variety of different ways to site things from different sources. Before learning about the different ways there are to site things and how to site them, I didn't really understand or care much to site things. However, after having the class in the library I finally understood why we site things and how important it is that we do. I now think I feel confident enough to site things on my own without having to type them into a website and not being 100% sure if the way they sited it is actually correct.

yesterday class

After yesterday class in the library I feel confident about writing my essay because I understand what the professor now wants to see in our essay. Before yesterday I honestly had no idea how to properly mention or provide where I got my information from. The librarian also taught me how I can find the right information which was very helpful  cause I always have problems with finding the right information.

The colossus of maroussi

"On one side are stones and shrubs which stand out with microscopic clarity; on the other are trees such as one sees in Japanese prints, trees flooded with light, intoxicated, coryphanic which much have been planted by the gods in moments of drunken exaltation". Although a lot of millers references and descriptions have left me kind of confused, I really enjoyed this one! The way he described the trees as something you see in Japanese prints really helped me pictured where he was and all he was seeing around him at that moment  

Perspective of the Happening

As the the book progresses, Miller often refers to seemingly negative circumstances as something he is happy to witness..
I think he feels this way, not because he is happy about the negative state of the environment around him, but because he is glad to see the world in its raw state. I believe he feels that the negative aspects of the world prove the authenticity of the happening events.

Question # 3

"I am glad i arrived in Athens during that incredible heat wave, glad i saw it under the worse conditions. I felt the naked strength of the people, their purity, their nobility, their resignation". Why do you guys think he fell this way why is he happy and think this way? on page 12

Question # 2

"I asked them if they had heard of the millions who were unemployed in america. They ignored the question" Why would the people Henry Miller was talking to in page 8 ignore that question? Any opinion in this?

Katsimbalis, Miller, and Epidaurus

Look at pp. 34-36 again. Miller describes his new friend, Katsimbalis, here, describes him as a colossus, thus giving the book its title. What is the significance of his friend? How does he embody the Greek spirit according to Miller?

Now look at 67-74 again. After the two of them spend the night in an unheated hotel (b/c they're the only guests), they take a trip to Epidaurus, the ancient theater there their destination: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epidaurus#mediaviewer/File:07Epidaurus_Theater05.jpg In this section, as he does elsewhere, Miller riffs on an idea (riffing is something that jazz musicians do--they take a melody or theme and repeat it w/ variations; this is improvisation), here it's about peace. How does Epidaurus equal peace according to Miller? What is the importance of peace?

The Colossus of Maroussi

While reading this book by Henry miller, it had me thinking of a couple things. Henry miller mentions that life without money is impossible, and how in order for Americans to be happy they had to have clothes, a good home, and things that were more of want rather than a need. However, Henry miller discussed that he was completley happy without any of those things. So my question to you is, do you need any of those things that Henry miller discussed to be happy?

Another part of the text that caught my attention was, where Henry miller started to have an obsession of a glass of water and how everywhere he saw that glass of water. He also stated that he began to think of water as a new vital element of life. Why do you think that Henry miller began to have an obsession with the glass of water? What do you think the glass of water can symbolize? 

Self Realization via Henry Miller

One thing I immediately noticed about Henry Miller during my reading is his style of writing. The structure of his writing reminds me of my own writing. I get the impression that he writes simply to get his point across. He doesn't seem to have any goals in terms of specific literary achievement. (Not to say that as a bat thing, but simply an observation that is primary goal seems to be expressing his points and thoughts.) I also noticed that the manner in which he describes things is very unique. Its almost as though he expects his audience to know exactly what his metaphorical descriptions refer to. I believe that he perhaps did not fully understand that not everyone would be able to assume his mindset, and there for would not understand his way of speaking. For some, maybe he included enough information to infer, but it does not seem like an easy writing style to comprehend.

Noticing these things about Miller made me see that not everyone is able to properly interpret what my mindset might have been at the time of my writing and therefore would not understand the message the way I would have liked them to. Better describing the interpretation  that I would like my readers to have and leaving less room for guessing is something that I need to work on in my own texts.

Assignment 1

I really liked some of the comments my group wrote. It makes me feel good about my paper that i am writing. Also Jt the cover letter has a good of good ideas that helping me finish this essay. I hope you guys is having a good time writing your essays.

Question About Assignment #2

Does anyone know how to get to the page on the qcc website that has the teachers emails? Also does anyone suggest a teacher that i can interview in the graphic design field since i dont know any of the teachers in that field?

The Colossus of Maroussi

Henry Miller mentioned that machines and good things meant nothing to him, because he could live happily without that. Personally, I feel dependent to certain things he mentioned, for example, the dream to have a good home or a car would make me happy, but I still believe that kind of happiness is not as much as the happiness of knowing that you have someone beloved to share those dreams with.
However, I connected that idea to where he talked about eliminating newspapers and where he believes the world needs peace and solitude and idleness, in addition that we could learn how to live without material things. In these days; How do you feel about what Henry Thought? Do you ever feel you do not need those "things"?

Griselda V

Colossus of maroussi

When the author mentions "the angry & swollen sea. I feel like he was describing the emotions of the people who were left behind & his. I say this because he clearly stated the fact that it angered him that the people of wealth acted like the war was not their concern and they just up and left and left the people who were poor. So when he say the angry sea he is stating how he feels about the situation but when he says the swollen sea he can be describing how the people eyes were from crying.

Paintings From Class

In class we were trying to interpret what message each painting was giving to each of us. That exercise helped me to fully understand paintings that having a certain meaning towards it, instead of just thinking "oh that's a nice picture". This will definitely help me when I go to the metropolitan museum for an assignment for my other class.

Getting to know my classmates

Hi everyone, just an idea that popped to my head. Wanted to get to know who you are so i would like to know the following: Whats your favorite book? Favorite movie? Favorite actor? What do you like to do on you free time? and anything y'all want to add. if you don't like the idea its ok. hope we all participate and get to know each other even the profesor.

And if you have Instagram don't be shy to leave it or add me @t   mikeangel0724 :)

The paintings

Today in class we had a huge discussions on three different paintings. The paints include

Claude Monet, Starry Night-Van Gogh, and Renoir. These great painting are painted by all famous painters with a great unique meanings behind them. The paintings differ in many ways because it was painted from different perspective of each painters. The painter clearly uses different techniques and tools to create this beautiful art work. Also, they have a hidden message behind them. Paintings are just like a piece of writing because they all have a meaning and story to tell. It is slightly harder to get a "right" message form a painting because it isn't obvious like a written text, you might have to use imginations and your point of view to fully understand. Then again, paintings can be interpret in many ways as a person view it and relate it to themselves. Overall, it takes a great deal of interpretation and some critical judgement.  

I really like this kind of activity. I feel like it gets our brain thinking on a early monday morning and get the whole class to be engaged on a topic.  

Kimberly S.

The Colossus of Maroussi

As you start to read Henry Miller's travel book, think about what Greece in the 1930s seems like as described by Miller. What kind of place is this? Also, what do you make of him as a person, as a narrator? Feel free to use this space to ask any questions that the narrative poses for you. 

Henry Miller became a famous writer. When he visited Greece, he had published four books, but few knew his books because they were banned in the US and UK (and he wasn't very rich). What kind of person does he seem like to you? 

Introducing the OWL

This week I'd like you to explore the Writing Process segment of the OWL:

http://owl.excelsior.edu/posts/view/127

These sections break down what an essay should do. I've noticed--in the Writing About Writing activity you did on the first day and also the draft for Assignment #1--that most of you already understand many aspects of how to write an essay, but few of you understand all aspects and you could use some time on the OWL. For instance, regarding paragraphs:

http://owl.excelsior.edu/posts/view/160

Notice how the first sentences (at the bottom of this page) of ea. paragraph reference the thesis of the essay, but that ea. is a bit different from the other. Paragraphs help your readers to be aware that you're shifting to a new portion of your overall topic and they're vitally important for both helping your reader wade through a complex issue, but also important for helping you organize your essay. Like Sherman Alexie says in the essay I posted, paragraphs are like fences for words.

Also, check out transitioning: http://owl.excelsior.edu/posts/view/199, particularly the graph that shows different transition words (but, or, however, etc.)

Spend some time with the other sections too--particularly audience awareness, conclusions, and revising. I think you'll find them very helpful.

Question?

Can some one tell me where can i buy the books?

hey, does anyone know what is the home work or class assignment for next class?

hey, does anyone know what is the home work or class assignment for next class?

So yesterday in class we had to do the group critiques. Which I found pretty helpful I received a lot of constructive criticism that i believe helped me out a lot. People seemed interested with my story which is also a plus. But I feel like this activity helped me finish my essay faster than what I would have if I didn't have anyone read it.

Superman and Me

 Hi all:

I thought you might be interested in the following literacy narrative by Sherman Alexie:

http://articles.latimes.com/1998/apr/19/books/bk-42979 (note: this is only the first page; you have to click the “Next” icon at the bottom of the page). 

If you want to read and respond to this essay on the blog this week, I will give you extra credit. As a start, you might consider the question: What makes this a literacy narrative? What do you think Alexie means in the penultimate paragraph when he says, "I was smart. I was arrogant. I was lucky." Why write that in three sentences instead of as one: "I was smart, arrogant, and lucky." How did reading save his life? In his last sentence, he writes "I am trying to save our lives." (emphasis mine) Earlier he says My life. Why repeat himself? Who is the "our"?

If you see some other aspect of the essay that strikes you as interesting, my all means bring it up.